Windows of My Mind

Come on and Shake, Shake , Shake it!

2011-10-05T06:36:00.001-07:00

<3 <3 <3

--
Enjoy your day!

Kendra Baxter
cell: (573) 819-9886

--
Be well and happy,

Polly

573-356-0162

yogasol.org rootsnbluesnbbq.com

New Email Address and Google chat address

2010-05-25T12:32:00.001-07:00

Dear friends,

I have recently changed my address to reflect my position in the newest Donation Based Yoga Studio in Mid-MO. Please change your address books to reflect that my new address is SARAH@YOGASOL.ORG.

I may occasionally check this mamakohl account, but this will be the last email I send from here.

Blessings to you all....

Live Well,
Sarah
"I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks." - DANIEL BOONE

ugh, i've been hacked by Reunion dot com

2008-04-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for the inconvenience everyone. Somehow I managed to get hacked this morning by Reunion.com. I didn't send any of the emails you may have gotten from that group and I'm very sorry if it caused any inconvenience. I'm telling everyone that I didn't send it -- I am more than frustrated.

Sorry!

--
Live Well,
Sarah

Inner Rhythms Birth Services
... Nurturing your journey ...
http://www.birthrhythms.com

Kohleidoscope - One of a Kind Creations at Every Turn
http://kohleidoscope.etsy.com

Sarah wants to connect with you!

2008-04-29T06:48:00.001-07:00

Hi,

I looked for you on Reunion.com, but you weren't there. I use Reunion.com to search for lost friends and contacts, and to stay connected with people I know, so please connect with me.

—Sarah

RESPOND TO SARAH:
Connect with Sarah Now! - You'll also find out if anyone else is searching for you.

Or go to http://www.reunion.com/showInviteRegistration.do?uid=257677405

Reunion.com - Life Changes. Keep in Touch.™
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I'VE MOVED

2007-06-21T12:07:00.001-07:00

Blogger pisses me off, so I have a new home!

Check me out and change your bookmarks!

Yesterday was teeth, today is paint

2007-06-20T07:15:00.001-07:00

B just took the kiddos to the inlaws for another trial visit.

His parting words to me were, "I hope you're dressed in rags and are ready to bust ass when I get home."

Translation: I expect you to be ready to work 'cause I'm throwing you a paint roller the second I return."

I countered with, "Well, I hope that you are appreciative and ready to reward my ass at the appropriate time."

Translation: I'll be ready to work when I'm damned good and ready and, in return, you're throwing me a beer the second it turns noon."

Let the games begin.

A day with teeth

2007-06-19T11:03:00.001-07:00

My children clearly have inherited some things from their parents. Duck has my coloring, but looks just like B. Stealth has B's coloring, but his face is just like mine. Duck is into music like me, Stealth is a rabid angler, just like B. Duck's moodiness = B, his temper = me. Stealth's sense of humor = B, his creativity = well, both of us.

But they have also inherited some not so appealing things, too. Namely horrible teeth.

Mine have always been straight, I've never needed braces. B needed braces forever, but now has perfectly straight teeth. The boys, thus far, seem to have straight teeth like me, but they also have gotten the rotten teeth from my side of the family. Yep, they get brushed and flossed and rinsed at least twice a day, but still, they are rotten. Duck has had 4 root canals and a filling and Stealth has had a filling - that fell out. AGH.

So today we went to a new dentist (don't even get me started on the catastrophe that was the last dentist,) and let me just say, I *LOVE* this new dentist. He's in town (instead of driving 30 miles,) the office is clean and decorated with art, the folks are nice, the office manager (and hygienist, etc.) is a dream - I'm serious, this guy is so awesome I wanted to steal him. The dentist himself is lovely, the receptionist is awesome, and get this - THEY HAVE NITROUS!! Oh thank you, Elvis, for nitrous. The last dentist didn't have laughing gas and just jabbed the Novocaine needle into my children's mouths without warning and then told them "if you don't settle down, we'll have to go to the hospital right now and you'll have surgery!!!" (Didn't I tell you it was a fan-fucking-tastic disaster there?)

Why am I so thrilled about this laughing gas? Because we found out today that Duck needs at least as much work done again as he has had done before (yikes, 4 more root canals at least???) and Stealth needs to have the tooth pulled that lost the filling and has a few more cavities that need to be filled. Those poor kids!

At least the dentist sat me down and said, "You are doing *everything right.* The teeth in both of the boys are so very clean. I can tell you brush all the time. It's just genetic. And, after all, they are just baby teeth. Duck's molars look awesome! Don't worry about it, continue to do what you're doing, and we'll just take care of these guys." Whew. As if I don't have enough Mama guilt as it is.

It's not all going to be done in one visit - we'll split it up into several visits per kid, no more than one hour in the chair at a time. They are open to doing it on days that work best for us (hooray!!) and really are just so very wonderful. The boys love these folks -- and so do I.

I gotta floss ....

My kind of day

2007-06-18T09:10:00.001-07:00

It's Monday, I'm drinking coffee, and it's raining. I've been up for a little more than 3 hours (B woke me up in the *nicest* way, heh heh heh) and have already accomplished everything I needed to do today, minus changing the bedding, but frankly, I like to do that right before showering and going to sleep, so it can wait.

I've made cinnamon rolls, gone to the bank, paid the electric bill, took care of Hank, emailed a client. My kids are happily playing with blocks and Hot Wheel tracks and train tracks and cars and trains and such. They're making some sort of city, complete with hidden explosives. What can I say, they are boys. At least it's a team effort, eh? My dog is sleeping (or pretending to sleep) by my side. There is no tv on, no music on, it's quiet - with the exception of the rain and my loved ones.

For the first time, I'm taking part of our community-wide One Read program. I'm not sure that I'll participate in any of the group activities, but there's something really neat about reading a book along with an entire town. I will admit that it's likely that I'm the only one reading this book for the reason that I'm reading it. Two words: Circus Freaks. Indeed, that's all it took to hook me. The book we're reading, Water for Elephants is, so far, amazing. I'm probably 1/3 of the way through it and I can already say that I cannot wait to read it again. It's brilliantly written with unbelievable detail - and yet it's not stuffy or hard to get through or anything. It's fast paced and entertaining and full of dry wit. I love it. And I love that today is just perfect for lounging on the couch, listening to the rain, and reading. Duck and Stealth also have books that they are reading - Duck is reading Scooby Doo chapter books and Stealth is enjoying several Word Bird books. It's so awesome to look around the room and see my offspring quietly reading to themselves. Bliss, I'm telling you.

I need a new knitting project. I cannot possibly purchase any more yarn until I get rid of some of what I have. Unfortunately, I have a zillion and twelve partial hanks of yarn or, in some cases, two or three skeins of a particular yarn. I'm not sure what I need or want to make, but it has to be a Stash Buster project. Any ideas? DDFF, I'm looking to you, girl. I've got tons of worsted weight stuff and some that would take a size 9 needle well -- but it's all sorts of different stuff: wool, silk, acrylic, mohair, etc. Some solid, some variegated. AND I have some novelty yarn - ribbon and boa type stuff. And, of course, a billion and twelve odds and ends of Ozark left over from previous projects. All I have in mind so far is another bag and honest to moses, do I need more bags? (shut up, you, I know that I will continue to purchase and create bags until I have so many I cannot even open the door to my closet, but whatever ....) B is begging for me to find a project (he says I'm getting fidgety,) so help me out!!

I met with, quite possibly, the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet Saturday night. She's expecting her third child in July and I would love to be a part of it. I cannot get this woman out of my head. She was just ... regal. Man, I love women. I'm so glad to be one.

Can I just say how much I love B's shaved head? It's not bald -- just very very short. He's had it like this before, but was also shaving his face then. It's a whole different ball game now that he's keeping his facial hair ... and he's a bit older. I love the way he's aging. He's got a receding hairline and some gray hair here and there (mostly in his beard,) but he's my man and I adore him.

I just heard one of my children call the other child a, "Foul, evil, offensive cockroach." Apparently, it was all in play as no one seems to be offended! All the more evidence to stay out of their play and let them fend for themselves.

I want a new masthead for my blog. Anyone have ideas?

Ahhhhhhhhh ... the sound of the rain is calling me upstairs to the couch and to my book. Who am I to resist?

Oh thank Elvis

2007-06-17T14:35:00.001-07:00

B made a change today.

We no longer have the same do.

Actually, he has no hair.

I shaved his head.

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-17T05:06:00.000-07:00

(For more Father's Day postcards, visit Post Secret.)

It's 6:49 in the morning. I woke up about 30 minutes ago, just in time to say goodbye to B and Duck as they headed off to B's version of Waldon Pond to go fishing. With a cooler in the front seat, a John boat tethered to the rack on the top of the truck, 6 fishing poles, a hiking backpack converted into a tackle box (for hiking, you know,) 6 cans of Coke, 1 thermos of coffee, they headed off to the gas station to pick up the most important part - chocolate doughnuts and bottled water. B has been looking forward to this for days. An avid bass angler, be didn't even take his scum frogs. Nope, today he packed live bait - red wigglers and night crawlers - and bobbers and they are going fishing for blue gill (perch.) Apparently, these blue gill in this pond are huge and so plentiful that they darn near jump into your boat on their own. Duck is gonna have a blast!

Tonight is Stealth's turn.

Sometimes I think that the best father I have ever seen is the one that I married.

On me

2007-06-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

I've thought of several things I wanted to blog about over the last several days. Just random things that come to mind to me throughout my daily activities (have you ever noticed how many I's there are in ACTIVITIES??) But, of course, these thoughts only happen to occur when I'm sitting on the toilet, walking the dog, in the shower, after sex, etc. and those times are not exactly conducive to blogging. Guess that's why they have audio blogger or something about phoning in your blogs. But let me tell you something --- you think you get some bullshit on my blog now ... imagine if I actually phoned the crap in!!! Yeah --- I'm not going there. But, alas, my consideration of your interest level has left me in the land of What The Fuck Was I Gonna Write About? Population: 1.

James Brown kicks ass. The end. Loves me some King of Soul. I mean, how can you not love a man who has a live album called Sex Machine???

It's Friday afternoon at 3:52. I have no idea when this will actually post. Truth be told, I started it a couple of days ago. Gotta love saving your drafts.

In the name of full disclosure, I've had a drink or two. I'm not sure I want to get ripped today --- it's more like I'm drinking to soothe the savage beast instead of drinking to burn the house down. It's a blues day, a soy candle and shades drawn, a slow sipping, endless cup of bourbon day, a feel the music so intently you punch the pillow in emphasis kind of day. A slow dance in the middle of cooking dinner, a cry it out silently in the arms of someone you trust, a paint the sky deep purple kind of day. Bottoms up.

Today I accompanied my mother to the settlement hearing for her divorce. I'll not divulge any details here as it is not my story to tell, but suffice it to say that she walked out of the courthouse not one step closer to the end than she was when she woke this morning. Such a disappointment. So, we went to W's to eat lunch and knock back a couple of drinks, which got comp'd! Thank Elvis something went right today. Bottoms up.

The boys went to my in-laws today for the first time since my FIL decided to show what a 3 year old he is. Let me just say this - neither B nor I were at all easy about this, but I needed childcare so I could go to court with my Mom, and we didn't really have any other choice. I called several times to check out the situation there --- all seems to be well and my FIL is behaving nicely and walking on eggshells, as is appropriate. B is picking them up in 30 minutes. Time shall tell. Bottoms up.

In the last week, I have colored my hair and done something funky to my eyebrows. The hair color is a very slight lightening (which, of course, will probably result in a full out bleaching by end of summer 'cause I'm strange like that,) and my eyebrows have changed shape for the first time since I was 16 years old. Yes, friends and neighbors, you read that correctly - I've been sporting the same brow do for 15 years. The other day, I was sitting around watching Days of Our Lives as my kids had their movie time and thought, "Why the hell not?" So I grabbed my tweezers and a hand mirror and went to town. Check out before and after --- knowing full well that the hair color change is not showing up well in pictures. Check out before and after (if you cannot tell, 1) get your eyes checked, 2) the one with the dark hair and jean jacket is BEFORE, the other one is AFTER.) There is another After photo that might be better, but you know, I'm drinking and cannot tell. So we make due with the following photos:

I love Summer tv programming. Seriously. Hells Kitchen, Last Comic Standing, America's Got Talent are about the most sublime choices in programming during the hot, summer (read: drunk off your asses) months. In the Summer, I don't want to be mentally challenged. At. All. Nope, I like the mental peanut butter, brain toothpaste programming that networks plan on, 'cause frankly, I'm tired of being so damned smart all the time. Bottoms up.

I love James Brown, I really do, but man, he cannot do For Once in My Life like Frank Sinatra. Sorry, James. Cannot be done.

My friend, SS, is having a baby in a few months in New Zealand. I'm thrilled about her having another child, but am sad that I won't be with her while she's bringing her first son into the world. I just kept thinking that I needed to somehow honor this little one's coming into the world, so I'm doing a pro-bono birth here in my town in the name of her soon to be born son. SS, I hope you can feel the love. Love you, Mama. Bottoms up.

And having said all of that, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm NOT on call at the moment. Soooo, Bottoms up.

So, I've been keeping in touch with my ex-husband. I must say, it's highly entertaining. I have forgotten what a hoot he is --- when you're not legally, emotionally, physically, mentally, practically responsible for him, that is. Now that I can watch his insanity from a very safe distance, it cracks me up. I remember the good parts of him, and I'm so glad to be able to do so. He's a really good boy -- just not a good man. But lord almighty, if there were an award for unlikely arrests, my ex-husband would not only have several of those awards, he would be the name sake for such awards. That cat is sooooooooooo messed up, I'm gonna start calling him Murphy. Thank you, Elvis, that I am no longer married to the fool, but thank you for allowing me to be able to step back and say, "Holy crap, that guy is a walking sitcom." A sitcom that I'd love to watch but will never ever star in again. Bottoms up.

Dinner needs to be made. My glass is empty.

Bottoms up.

Crisis Averted

2007-06-13T17:20:00.001-07:00

All was needed was one drink and some faith in my man.

I need several stiff drinks.

2007-06-13T13:43:00.001-07:00

And I need them now.
Right now.
Several.
Stiff.
Drinks.

And some Beer.

That is all.

Stream of Consciousness meeting minutes

2007-06-11T17:36:00.001-07:00

It's 7:10 pm on Monday. I'm in the office with "The Moon" (the small fluorescent above my desktop) lighting the whole basement alone. Looking on my desk directly in front of me I see 2 empty beer bottles (from yesterday,) a half empty beer bottle (from today,) a Santana cd, a clothes pin, a digital camera, a can of compressed air, paint splattered sun glasses, and a tube of lipstick - color: Rosy Outlook.

iTunes is randomly singing - currently, it's Ani DiFranco Reckoning. I swear, the next song will be the theme to Maude! Such is the beauty of iTunes.

My dog is laying beside me, panting in his sleep, tongue sprolled out as if in hopes for to catch the magical Milk Bone fairy as she flits from here to doggie heaven. When I die, I wanna come back as my dog. He's got a peachy keen life, man. And he's pretty easy on the eyes. And finally, for the love of all things beany, I'd be able to fart at will whenever, wherever, without second thought because, dammit, I'd be a sassy assed dog. Heh heh. Go on with your nasty self, Boy. I don't blame you a bit.

Sheryl Crow Can't Cry Anymore

There is a strange role reversal that happens in families as the children become adults - and even parents. I'm thinking of my relationship with my mother as well as the current dealings with my inlaws. Sometimes, when I'm feeling overwhelmed with emotions or situations or stresses or whatever and need to get some perspective, I try to imagine how I would deal with such situations at age 18 or 19. When I think about that and am undeniably gut busted with laughter at the inappropriateness or ineffectiveness of the 19 year old reaction, it makes the whole situation come into perfect perspective and my choice is clearly and easily made.

Split Lip Rayfield John

My dog thinks he's a cat in one way and one way only - he thinks he can climb trees. Yes, oh yes, Hank dreams of being a tree climber. He has been jumping and flailing himself towards the top of several trees in my yard lately in a desperate attempt to show those damned uppity squirrels who the hell is boss in Hank Land, thankyouverymuch. Today, though, today was different. Today, my Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Pup (thanks, JM Bill,) managed to climb into my maple tree. Yes, my friends, all 5 feet of him, tail to nose, was in that Maple tree in my front yard. What a freak!

Mary Chapin Carpenter Shut Up and Kiss Me

Um, this song does not inspire me.

Don McLean American Pie

I cannot listen to this song without thinking of Tisha Crawford. She's no longer Tisha Crawford, but you know, whatever. The summer between my 8th grade and Freshman years (or was it Freshman - Soph summer -- No I think Fresh....) Tisha had a BBQ party at a lake house. Apparently this was an annual thing for her and her family, but I was such a friendship circle butterfly, this was the only year I managed to be in her crowd at summer time to be invited. I remember the bikini I wore (I'm sure I blinded some folks for life -- that was clearly not a pretty picture,) and the food and such. And I remember listening to Steve Miller's The Joker and Don McLean's American Pie. Good times.

The Marshall Tucker Band Can't You See?

If thinks don't clear up with my inlaws soon, I'm gonna go fucking insane. The stress between families, the kids being freaked out about the absence of their grandparents, my Inlaws psycho crazy bullshit thought process is only causing the issue to get worse, and NO ONE WILL LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE long enough for B and I to really think about it in a way so as to make a decision.

Speak of the devil, there goes the phone.

How freaking interesting --- the next song on iTunes??

... Jack Johnson Losing Hope

And on the 7th day, She rested

2007-06-10T07:02:00.001-07:00

because it's raining.

I've been painting non-stop for 7 days (with the exception of a lovely lunch and some serious bargain hunting with my DDFF on Thursday,) and I'm dog ass tired. I've showered and shaved and showered and shaved and, while all the blue paint comes off quite nicely, the freakishly strong and resistant primer remains on my feet and legs and arms. It's been there since Monday.

We were going to be able to finish up the house today, so we thought. We need a super duper speedy once over second coat kind of deal, to paint the trim satin white, and to paint the foundation. At the very least we'd get it all started and the rest could be finished after work tomorrow, etc. But nope. There's a storm. And we desperately need the rain -- but we also need to finish the freaking house.

We would have finished painting a normal house days ago. B and I make a great team and we both have extensive painting experience, so we have it down. But, see, our house is not a normal house. Nope. The owners before us (or before them? I don't know) put cedar siding on the entire house. And then they stained it some sort of strange steel color. But check it out - they chose bizarre siding that doesn't overlap in a plank style, nope, it has ridges, and they installed it sideways, so you have to go in by hand with a tiny little toothbrush looking thing to get the bloody paint into the "I'm a bonehead idiot who doesn't know how to install my siding" crevices and ridges. And, as if that wasn't enough, when they stained it, they didn't do the whole toothbrush looking thing, so there is still exposed wood in some places! So, not only do we have to roll the thing in 1.5 inch knit rollers, we have to go in and cram paint into the devil's ass crack a zillion and twelve times more than once -- with primer and paint!!! And sweet jesus on white bread, they even pussed out when it came to painting the foundation. We have exposed foundation on 3 sides of the house. Our house is on a hill, so part of the basement is under ground, part of it is not. Two of the 3 sides has minimal foundation exposure, but the third exposed side is 1/2 foundation. The previous owners painted the foundation on the two least exposed side, but left the largely exposed side unpainted with drips and drops and streaks of the strange steel color from the house. So that side is going to take 2 or 3 coats of color. Wonderful, eh? Fucking morons.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Changes

2007-06-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Midway

Lotsa Pictures

2007-06-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

Where I'll be for a few days ...

2007-06-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

We are painting the house. Yep, indeed, painting the house. This is just the first coat of primer. Then there will be paint (dark blue) and trim (white) and foundation staining (gray.) I'm already speckled and banged and bruised and cut and sore and tired and figuring out how it's appropriate to drink beer at 8 am. These photos are from yesterday. More coming ....

Blogger, seriously, WTF?

2007-06-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

The new Blogger. Well, yeah, it's pissed some folks off.
I'm not so sure I'm pissed, but I am a bit confused.

I have no idea how the post about the hair styles ended up posting on top of the post about tomatos.

And why the hell will it NOT keep me logged in, even after I click the "remember me" square?

Blogger. Thy name is mud.

Oh Bloody Hell ...

2007-06-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

I just realized that my husband and I have the same hair.

Fuck.

This cannot be good.

Smashed Tomatos

2007-06-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have no idea where to exactly start posting, but let me just say right now that FINALLY Blogger saves drafts, so I'm not feeling too pressured. Let's just see if it works, eh?

So a baby girl was born on Sunday, May 27th, at 6:51 pm after close to 40 hrs of labor. This was a very long, very hard, very challenging birth for me and for my clients and, well, for everyone involved. It was one of those births that makes you rethink everything, a birth that shifts your focus, your perspective. Everyone is fine, no doubt about that, but no one is the same. Welcome to the world, Baby S. You've made it clear that you are gonna do things your own way - do them well!

Portable DVD players are the most fabulous things in the history of mankind. I swear to Elvis, if you have children who sometimes travel and who also have eyeballs, go right now and get yourself one. Technology is so advanced these days you can buy one for less than $100. And they pay for themselves within the first hour of use on a road trip. Need more proof? Just check out this testimonial:

"When you are the mother of 2 very active small children, driving through Kansas is enough to make you wanna visit with your good pal, Jim Beam, at 9 in the morning. However, with the aid of my new best friend, Ms. Portable DVD Player with Dual Headphones and Skip Protection, the world is my oyster! Of course, Jim Beam does work well when you have to deal with oysters and is damned near a necessity for dealing with Kansas, but you know, whatever. Just go get yourself one of these things and maybe you won't need those little blue and white pills after all."

I don't know who that woman is - she sure sounds smart!

In other news:

My grandfather's funeral was lovely, simply lovely. I'm thrilled that I went and I'm beyond elated that my family went with me. I would go into detail, but really, there is no need. It wouldn't matter to anyone who didn't know him and everyone who knew him was there - with the exception of my sister, and I've already filled her in on the details. Just for my own memoir reasons, remember the following notes: Vicki, Pam. Ice cream at funerals. Smart for dying with his watch on. Sugar packet. What's a Bible? Duck kissing Isabella. B crying = best used Y chromosome ever. Check photo of Stealth covered in sugar from powdered doughnuts, photo of my Dad, his wife, my brother and his wife, and me and my brood after the funeral (the source for the previous post about hair issues soon to be resolved ... somehow.)

Duck's birthday. Man, I feel bad for that kid this year. Kind of like my brother must have felt his entire childhood living at home - his birthday is December 28th and we were almost always on the road on his birthday. We got home from the funeral around 12:45 am on Duck's birthday (Sunday,) and Maude, we were tired. But we all did well. He, blessedly, decided he wanted store bought cupcakes instead of a home made cake, so we went and grabbed them up. He played his favorite Playstation game with Stealth and B while I made him this birthday card -yes, that's Duck as Spyro, his favorite game! I win Mom of the year award moments later at gift opening ceremony, where Duck is also blessed with Link-n-Logs (Lincoln logs,) a zillion and twelve Hot Wheels, some comic books, some mad libs, cash, train, etc. Followed by the clan traversing to Going Bonkers where, indeed, they did go Bonkers while Matriarch of said clan shoves endless amounts of caffeine and sugar into her mouth in order to stay awake long enough to put children to bed. After leaving the source of the Bonkers, we go to Toys R Us where more Hot Wheel madness ensues. Large expenditures of cash follows. Kids come home and play like crazy people and eventually pass out cold. Much garage celebration comences by the adults. Adults climb into bed hours later, thankful to have survived another year and hopeful that they can survive parenting a 7 year old.

B has taken this week off. To paint the house. Yes, it's true that I no longer have:

a bathroom sink

a shower

a bathtub

a bathroom FLOOR

But he took a week off to paint the house.

Ha.

Viva la Bourbon

My sister is in a new place in life, both figuratively and literally. May your journey be all that it's meant to be. May the truth come from all angles. May the roof and walls close in. You see, the way only exists in your center.

DDFF, I dreamed of sushi last night. What night you wanna indulge?

Duckling Little

2007-06-03T18:43:00.001-07:00

IT'S DUCK'S 7th BIRTHDAY!!!!

2007-06-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, my love. I adore you. You're such a sweet soul.
And I know you'll forgive me for waiting to make the big emotional birthday post until tomorrow.
'Cause you're cool like that.

that's better

2007-06-01T06:30:00.001-07:00

Last night I just kind of melted down. I mowed the lawn, had my stiff drink, etc.

And then I sat down and poured my heart out to B, told him that I NEEDED to have my family with me. It took a long time but it finally got through to him and now we are all going to KS for the funeral tomorrow!!

We'll pack up and go get my Mom's portable dvd player so the boys can watch movies, B will be with me in my time of grief, and dammit, I can show my relatives that my family can unite in a time of crisis and support one another.

I feel soooooooooo much relief and support. And cool, road trip, eh?

9 minutes

2007-05-31T17:31:00.001-07:00

I have 9 minutes to verbally bring forth all the stuff in my head. ready... set...

GO!

Grandpa died today. I'll be going to the funeral alone. I will be a pall barer. Yes, you read correctly, I was also a pall barer for my grandmother. Messed up family, I'm here to tell you. But I do have to say, there is some healing involved with laying a loved one in the ground. I'm glad that my hands will be some of the last responsible for Vernon.

There's a part of me that is pissed of with B for not attending the funeral with me. After all, I'm the one grieving here -- doesn't seem hardly fair that I'll be driving 7 hours (give or take) to attend the funeral of my grandfather alone only to have to drive back alone, too. But, you know, maybe I need that time. I believe I do. I can hang with him wanting to comfort me by allowing me to know that my children are safe.... still, I wish he were there with me. He's done so much for me from here, though. Left me with cash, returned with bourbon. Taking care of the kids to let me have my one day / night of getting ripped all to hell and saying FUCK IT to the rest. I'm sure that, when I return from the funeral, the house will be clean, the laundry will be done, there will be a large treat in the garage waiting for me along with a stiff drink and a nice little pick me up that only my husband can provide me. Heh heh heh.

The birth. Crap on a cracker, I haven't written about the birth. I don't know that I"m going to. It was a horrendously long and complicated birth, but my client did all that she could and I learned a lot about the human spirit. And for the first time, I issued the very words that changed my life 5 years ago, "There comes a time when you have to decide to take the power. You can either decide for yourself to have the surgery, or you can wait for your physician to decide for you. Where will you find the most empowerment?" Baby girl born at 6:51 pm, nearly 39 hours from the onset of labor, via cesarean section. Mom and baby and dad and doula all doing well.

1 minute

I want sushi. I really want sushi. I cannot afford sushi AND a trip out of state for the funeral. DAMMIT.

Someone start saving bail money --- I might have to kidnap a sushi dude and take him to KS with me. Oy!

Vernon Robert Wells

2007-05-31T05:26:00.001-07:00

June 20, 1925 - May 31, 2007

Rest in Peace

Just live that life. It doesn't matter whether it is life or hell, life of the hungry ghost, life of the animal, it's okay; just live that life, see. And as a matter of fact no other way. Where you stand, where you are, that's what your life is right there, regardless of how painful it is or how enjoyable it is. That's what it is.- Taizan Maezumi

Brain spewage

2007-05-26T07:09:00.001-07:00

It's a day of uncertainty. When I'm uncertain, my brain goes on overdrive. I'm just gonna spill it all here.

So here's the deal with being a birth professional - time is wonky. For example, in most other jobs, you know when you will be going to work, *where* you're going to work, how long you'll be there. Not when you're a birth professional. Not at all. Right now I know my client is in early labor. Good enough. I know that eventually she'll be birthing at a hospital about 25 minutes away. Check. I know that at some point, I'll be joining her somewhere. Right on. But I don't know when (an hour from now? 6 hours? 12??) and I don't know where (her house first? or straight to the hospital?) and I most certainly don't know how long I'll be with her. I might climb into my own bed to sleep tonight --- or I might not get to climb into my own bed to sleep until tomorrow night. No one knows.

It's as if time somewhat stops when that phone rings and I hear, "I think this is it!!" Time doesn't matter at that point because, frankly, I'm on someone else's watch. Sure, I can still go about my daily grind, but always in the back of my mind I'm looking for the quick exit, the best parking place that will allow me to leave easily, etc. I don't know when anything is going to happen -- it's part of the nature of the game.

I wish other folks would get that. Namely my husband. Now, B is a great man and he is incredibly supportive. He loves what I do and knows I'm damned good at it and that I love it (talk to me at 3am tomorrow and ask if I still like it .. oy!) B has always encouraged me to do whatever I want whenever I want and that's just fantastic. But good grief, I don't understand why he doesn't realize by now, several several years and countless births into it, that I don't know when I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be home. I usually just say, "By Thursday" and leave it at that.

Hank barks now. All the time. Not at strangers or noises very much (although he does do that,) but he barks to talk to us. It's unreal. He comes up to us and does that doggie howl and we all join in unison with him, but then he decides to bark when he's really serious. I can handle it. The boys love it. It's loud and it does hurt my ears if he's close, but good night, Hank is just a talker. B, however, does NOT dig this. It's highly entertaining to me to watch B cringe and freak at the barking while the boys and I continue on our party line chat with the dog. Ruff Ruff, baby. Ruff Ruff.

JM Bill is camping this weekend where there are lions and leopards. I wanna be there with her.

Speaking of Africa, I've been letting the boys watch Roots with me. It's heavy and hard at times and we have to stop the movie every 10 minutes or so I can answer their questions and such. It's a 12 hr film, so it's going to take us a long time to get through it. That's fine -- it certainly took long enough to live. It's interesting to watch the boys experience the trauma and horrific nature of our history. It's sad to watch that reality cross their little faces, but it's also so wonderful to see that they instantly understand the grave injustice of it, that it's NOT right, that it makes no sense. It's a deep pleasure to see the look in their face that says so clearly, "Never again. Never to another soul of any color, creed, race, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation, etc. NEVER AGAIN." It's kind of like when Duck was mortified to see how eggs are collected on commercial farms and vow that he would only eat free range eggs. It's a proud moment for me, a proud moment as a parent.

JP and her clan is out of school for the summer. YAY!!!! This year should be interesting. Her youngest, D, is terrified of dogs. Just terrified of dogs. No matter what size or breed they are, this little "Ima get you sucka" girl is scared of dogs ... and we have Hank. Hank who is enormous and loud. Hank who is nothing but a gigantic marshmallow but looks and sounds like a vicious beast. Hank who brings me my slippers and will kiss you stupid for peanut butter. He's awesome, but she won't be able to tell 'cause the poor love will be too scared to find out. Guess we'll be visiting them a lot this summer instead of them coming up here. Lovely.

I'm messing with my blog layout and such. Expect random changes. Ha. Good lesson for life, eh?

Stealth has decided that he's going to be a video / computer game wizard. He's well on his way.

Oh there's the phone ....

Phone wars, Round 1

2007-05-26T05:54:00.001-07:00

Has been officially won by my client.

The phone rang this morning at 7.

Contractions started at 4 am.

In her back.

Oy.

It's gonna be a long one, folks.

To the leader of BU

2007-05-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Since my girl, DDFF, cannot rightly express herself as much as she wants at the moment, I'm sending my boyfriend to do the job for her.

Standing in the Correction Corner

2007-05-24T12:00:00.001-07:00

I stand corrected -- turns out I DO like the random chit chat --- if it comes from the right people.

The homeschool picnic was wonderful - a zillion kids playing in the rain, good talks with the Mamas.

I believe it's time to re-invest in our homeschool group. There were not many kids Duck and Stealth's age last year (or in years past,) but this year, there seems to be an abundance! Watching my two boys play with 4 other homeschooled boys their age was *wonderful!*

Contrary to popular belief, I really love it when I'm wrong.

After all, it happens so rarely.

Blogarhythms

2007-05-24T08:59:00.001-07:00

I need to get in the shower. There's a homeschool picnic sort of thing this afternoon and, while I'm not really excited about going, I know it will be good for Duck and Stealth. I just really dislike the whole chit chat crap that goes on with parents at things like this. It's what I've always disliked about playdates with random kids or birthday parties where the whole clan has to sit around and talk about Johnny's progress in multiplication or Suzie's newest science experience or Mack's latest discovery of the pleasure of eating boogers. WHO CARES?

I've recently discovered that this tragic need to "talk to the parents" also bleeds into the dog park. Doggie parents, or at least some of them, feel the need to have lengthy and personal conversations with the other doggie parents at the dog park. Why? Yes, I know we all love our dogs and believe me, it's no stretch to get me to talk about Hank for hours on end, but really? Really? Really do you need to come running to me and my children and my dog when we walk into the leash free area and start talking to me about your niece and your other dogs and life on the farm as if a) I know you, and b) we're best friends, and c) I care? I understand the desire to be social, I do. Believe me, I'm a social person and love to hang as much as the next gal, but honestly? When I throw a stick into the lake for Hank to chase and I go to the *other* side of the lake while he swims, PLEASE do not follow me. If I have my kids with me, I will talk to you so they don't witness me being rude. But if I'm by myself, folks, read and learn - I'm interested in 3 things : My dog, my i-Pod, and myself. The end. Unless the Great Pyrenees pair are there (or the Great Dane (Hey Raleigh! Hey Chester! Hey Rexie!,) I'm pretty much gonna keep to myself. Thanks.

And while we're on the topic of dog parks, let me just say this right here -- If your dog is not social, do NOT bring her into the leash free area and then accost the other dog owners if our dogs make your dog nervous! Dogs are pack animals and it is part of their nature, indeed an essential part of their nature, to check out other dogs and figure out who's the alpha, etc. That means that some dogs bark, some dogs growl, some dogs go a little bonkers. This is normal and fine. If you'll watch, most dogs who do this are doing so with their tails wagging and smiling the whole time. This is social and normal and important and, if you just chill the hell out and quit making your dog nervous yourself, they will be fine. Let the dogs do the dog thing and in minutes, they'll be swimming and running and loving each other like they were all dipped in chicken treats. If you know, in advance, that your dog doesn't dig well with others, DON'T BRING THEM INTO THE LEASH FREE DOG PARK. This is just common sense. If you don't get this, folks, you don't even deserve to have a dog.

I've learned that it's best to let stupid people be stupid and crazy people be crazy because they'll both take you down with them if you try to, even for a second, get them out of being stupid and crazy. Stupid and crazy never change -- they just add to their numbers.

I'm in the middle of this sick and twisted waiting game with my phone. I'm waiting for the phone to ring. Could be either a) my client's birth, b) my grandfather's death, or c) my FIL trying to resolve things with me after he fucked up horribly last week and I made him cry as a result of his actions. Anyone care to guess which one I'm hoping for? When you figure it out, let me know.

DDFF, class tonight? No? I know you have the show .....

B is the best husband ever. The end. Flowers twice this week, a gorgeous card that made me cry, he took the kids on a bike ride AND played with Hank AND is sending me paint shopping. Love him.

I need a new dress. Or a few.

My friend, D is marrying E this weekend in Boise. Lots of my girlfriends are gonna be there. Love you, ladies. Rock the Casbah for me. And whew! Another game of "I never..." that I don't have to confess to .....

Must. Go. Camping. I'm thinking Tuesday ...

Translation

2007-05-23T08:27:00.001-07:00

Libertas et natale solum.

Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em.

-- Jonathan Swift

Aint it the truth?

2007-05-19T05:21:00.001-07:00

About the time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

-- Herbert Hoover

Well, I've done that now, time to move on

2007-05-19T05:16:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I wrote the poor, woe is me post about everything that is wrong with my life and how I wanted to fix it all with booze.

And last night I did take care of it, for the time being, with beer.

And now I've done that and don't need to do it again.

With every crisis, I take one day to just lose it and be irresponsible. Just one day. Sometimes I choose the day. Sometimes the day chooses me. Yesterday, it chose me.

But today is a new day. I feel like I've emptied all the gnarlies out and can start building on the intelligence and down to earth nature of myself that has kept me out of the shit pile for over 30 years.

So bring it, suckas. I can handle life and all it's creepie crawlies.

Just be sure to bring some Ibuprofen along with you.

GAME ON!!!

sometimes things just suck ass

2007-05-18T13:41:00.001-07:00

Remember when we were younger? Remember when we could have some sort of crisis and deal with it at a bar, tits out, tabs paid for?

Things ain't the same these days.

I'm 31, married, mother of two, friend to zillions, enemy of some (I don't even care enough bout them to count.) I'm a professional, a business owner (two times over, thankyouverymuch,) an artist, a trainer, a master craftswoman, a joke teller, a drink maker, a midnight toker, baby.

But sometimes I wanna be that 19 year old who folks take care of.

I'm having a hard time. There's a lot of stress and loss in my family(s) right now. Everyone expects me to hold it together --- after all, I've held it together for 31 years thus far.

My grandfather is dying.

My friend wants to be a mother but she cannot let go of her conscious enough to listen to her heart.

My budget wants to spend itself on fine shoes, lovely skirts, and beer, but I feel obligated to buy semi-gloss paint and ceramic tile.

I feel guilty about my grandmother's death oh so many years ago. ... enough guilt that I'm sure I'll fuck up my grandfather's death. That is why I choose to remain here instead of visiting.

My husband loves me and trusts me, but thinks I should deal with my grief sober. What he doesn't realize is that I deal with it all sober and head on for 18 hrs of the day and I only look to get obliterated during the 8 hrs that he's home. That, to me, is responsible.

Lily Allen said it all ....

Oh yeah, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

Don't you want something else

Vernon, Part II

2007-05-17T12:30:00.001-07:00

Last year, I wrote this post about my grandfather, Vernon.

I found out today that he is going downhill quite fast. They will be moving him to hospice care and putting him on morphine.

He could have "12 minutes, 12 hours, 12 days, 12 weeks ...."

If you have some extra energy, send it his way. I don't want him to suffer.

Warts, anyone?

2007-05-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

zzzzzzzz, a few words, zzzzzzzzzzzz, sushi

2007-05-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

I'm sooooooo damned tired. So tired. And I cannot sleep. Well, I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow ... and then I'm up a zillion and twelve times during the night and wake up, wide awake, so freaking early. This morning, I actually slept in ... until 6 am, if that tells you anything. EARLY, I'm telling you. I just want to sleep. For a few months. Uninterrupted.

To whomever has snagged my good, new, white t-shirt ---- GIVE IT BACK. It's been gone for a few weeks now and I'm about ready to freak the hell out.

I'm contemplating taking on a client for free or a very reduced rate. I haven't done that in years and years and years, but my goodness, I like these people so much and they sacrificed their doula money to have a homebirth (excellent choice, btw!!,) I might just do it for the sheer joy of it all. Trying to figure out what I want to do about this situation ...... They have offered to barter with me, but to be honest, all the things they offer are things I'm skilled at (didn't I tell you they were so cool?!?!?!)

I find myself being very hungry and yet nothing, absolutely nothing, sounds good to eat. Ever.

I wanna take a bath, but I'm afraid I'll fall asleep and drown.

There is a new subdivision in my neighborhood - and another coming in, too. Now, I'm not a big fan of development, but it does give me a wonderful place to walk the dog and hang with the kids and let them ride bikes and such. Eh, perhaps urban sprawl isn't all bad.

Sushi. Sushi sounds freaking fantastic!! But it's totally across town, I'm outta gas, and I'm boycotting gas stations today. I wonder if the sushi dudes deliver? California rolls, take me away!!!

B and Hank at Bear Creek

2007-05-15T05:19:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day, Shopping Bulemia, and Beer

2007-05-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

So the 3 day weekend was glorious! I'm not going to get into too much detail, but I did almost everything I wanted / needed to do. The only things left out were mopping the floor and laundry - and who the hell wants to do that stuff anyhow?

I found out that my new favorite place in the whole wide world is even cooler than I imagined. Bear Creek Trail goes from the NE corner of our town all the way to the NW side (for you locals -Blue Ridge to Cosmo!!) Saturday I took Hank to the doggie park to play and then to walk on the trail and I ended up a few miles away across town! Who knew?1?!?!?! Along the way, we crossed bridges and boardwalks, shaded areas, beautiful sunny meadows, wetlands, woods, and, of course, Bear Creek. It was so wonderful that I took B there with Hank on Saturday night. Pictures to come ....

Yesterday found me walking Hank before 7 am. I cannot sleep. I just don't sleep well anymore, so walking is just as good. There's something amazing about a cool, quiet morning, walking my dog and listening to Erzulie. Made it home and gave Hank a bath before 9.

I spent the rest of Sunday shopping** and trying on a zillion bras - bought a couple! I also spent quite a bit of time yesterday giving a woman in my life a proper bra fitting. The woman was wearing a bra 2 cup sizes too small!! LADIES, I'm telling you, GET FITTED FOR A BRA!!!!! She looks 20 lbs lighter and 10 years younger and let me tell you, her girls are finally saluting the sun instead of doing Downward Dog!!! Nest in line for my bra intervention - my MIL!! I'm going to revolutionize the world, one tit at a time.

I realize that I could just as easily (and happily) spend hundreds of dollars on my dog as I can myself because after I splurged on myself, I nearly bought him every bone and chew and toy imaginable and then (today) I bought him some new clothes, too! (I'm a huge huge huge advocate for the use of adjustable harnesses for dogs as opposed to collars and have been for years - especially big dogs who can escape collars or who are prone to pulling on the lead. Wanna know more? Ask me!)

**When B asked me what I wanted for MD, I told him, "Cash!" And of course, he thought I was joking. It took him overhearing me telling 2 girlfriends, my mother, and my MIL before he realized that I just wanted to go shopping! He was amazingly thrilled to not have to go shopping for me, thus gifting me with a rather nice wad of cash. I'm telling you ladies, try it - it works!!

So along with the shopping came my usual disorder - shopping bulimia. B diagnosed me with this disorder several months ago and I have to say, he's quite the diagnostician -- he's right on. I buy all kinds of things - and then return 90% of it all. It's true! Yesterday I bought and returned 3 bras, 2 shirts, and two pair of shorts --- all within an hour. But the thing is ... I found it all cheaper at another store, so I bought it from the other store and then returned it all to the first! HEY - I saved $5 that way! This morning, I went to Petco to get a good harness for Hank and I got him another bone (I know, I have issues.) I left the store (after dropping a rather large sum of money on a 4 legged fur face,) and went to another store ... only to find the exact same harness at 1/2 the price! So I went back to Petco and returned the bone and harness I had just purchased 15 minutes earlier. I do this kind of thing all the time and it drives B insane. But I'm here to tell you -- I saved $32 doing that! And that $32 is going to buy me some sushi at some point and it already bought me some ...

Beer.

I love beer. I really love beer. Well, I really love this beer. Good night Irene, I love that beer. It's tasty and dark and, well, it's just that good. I see it all the time, on TV, in photos from around the states, etc. Never the name, just the distinctive yellow labels and I have to scream out "GIMME A SHINER!" Fortunately, no one has attempted to honor this request by punching me in the eye yet, but I suppose it might happen sometime. No biggie -I'll just put some beer on it.

Puppy Play Date

2007-05-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

Lookie there, best friends!

Piper and Hank
Sitting in the Mud
Getting all brown like a big Milk Dud
First comes treats
Then comes ball
Watch out next
It's a Free For All!!!

RUN, don't walk

2007-05-10T16:43:00.001-07:00

to your favorite place and get yourself some Ray LaMontagne. Consider it a life or death situation - after hearing it once, you'll never want to live without it again. Period.

Thoughts on a Thursday

2007-05-10T13:03:00.001-07:00

Because I haven't thrown in any random posts in awhile, here we go in no random order -

It's about to storm. Or so it looks. Now, having said that, it's looked like this off and on for days. Normally, this wouldn't bother me much, but I have to decide - do I take the dog on our afternoon mile walk or do I somehow manage to wear him out playing fetch and catch and hide and seek?

Speaking of Hank - he's amazing. I know you all are going to get so sick of hearing about Hank and seeing pictures of Hank and all that. Kind of like I'm showing off pictures of my newborn --- but I'm telling you all in advance, it's going to be WAAAAAAAAAAY worse than having a newborn 'cause I've always liked dogs more than people. So either puppy up or find someone else to read.

It's Thursday which means that The Office comes on tonight. This show is my hands down favorite TV show and B manages to remember that and not let our kids interrupt me during that time. It makes me howl -- and I like that stupid people don't get it. That's the beauty of irony and dry humor --- it's a built in IQ test.

Did I mention that I have a wonder dog? Let me tell you how cool he is. Today we went to the doggy park (well, okay, we've gone every morning thus far....) and of course, Hank decided to go swimming. And the boys and I decided that he's much too advanced to simply swim, he must swim and fetch. So I started throwing tennis balls into the lake one at a time and he would jump in, swim out to them, fetch them, swim back, and drop them at my feet. At one point, one of the boys threw the second tennis ball out into the lake while Hank was already swimming out to get one. Check it out - my dog not only fetched the one that I threw for him, he swam behind the other ball, batting it with his front paws as he swam, until it reached the bank. He got out of the lake, dropped the ball in his mouth at my feet and then grabbed the one that he had guided to shore and dropped that one in my hand!!!!!!!!!!! I'm telling you folks, Hank is OUTSTANDING! Hell, I'm not that smart! (Okay, this is a phone picture and it is NOT of him doing the two ball trick, but you know, it's pretty darn cute anyhow - note tennis ball in mouth!)

Tomorrow is Friday, the start of a lovely 3 day weekend for me. My inlaws are grabbing the kidlets around noon tomorrow and I'll get them back sometime late in the afternoon Sunday. Ahhhhhhh. I love my kids, I really really do, but I love them even more when they've been gone for awhile and I've had the opportunity to have a few drinks, get laid several times, do some shopping, hang with the dog, sleep in, clean a house and have it stay clean, listen to Kid Rock very loudly in the living room, say "FUCK" whenever I want, and then to balance things out, do tons of yoga and meditation --- before getting back to the sex and cussing, of course.

Hank has at least one playdate this weekend with DDFF's baby girl, Piper, a German Shepherd whom I love to bits (and Piperella is quite fond of me, too.) I'm hoping that she becomes a little more social and can hang with Hank and be good pals. It's possible that we might also get together with K & L's three labs, Huba, LuLu, and Tea (pronounced Tay-uh.) FUUUUUUUUN!!!

My ex-husband is on Myspace and we're on each other's friends lists. It's cool and all - I mean, we were just kids when the shit went down between us. But it's just kind of strange to read his bulletins or messages or whatnot and see things that are very clear references to me - and they are very kind references. He's a good egg, that one. I mean, he's really harmless and honestly deserves a good woman --- but a woman needs a man and he's still just a boy.......

B is smoking again. He's terribly ashamed of it. I have to say, I'm stunned. I've never seen him be unable to beat anything before. Eh, well. That's one monkey that is not on my back - thank you Elvis. But I do have to say, when he brings home O'Doul's Amber and then lights a smoke, I want to scream out, "HEY, Buster, if you're smoking, I'm drinking! Get me a Shiner Bock before I shove that Winston Light up your freaking nose!" Perhaps I'll save that for this long weekend when I can stand naked behind the locked screen door and not let him in until he goes to the liquor store and returns with something appropriate for me to drink.

Ahhhhhhhhh and there's the rain ....

Lily Allen. Love her. I know she's getting tons of play right now and folks are pissy about her cancelling her US tour. I say RIGHT ON!! I love cancelling plans.

My poor nephew is having tons of tummy problems. While it's probably 99.9% genetic, I'm still convinced it's because they put him on formula at 2 weeks of age. I know I know I know - I don't want to hear it, I don't care, I know your sermon already, I've heard it all before and let me tell you, keep preaching it until you're blue in the face - you're still wrong (check the scientific evidence, if you're in doubt.) I'm sure I've offended many of you - and I don't care.. This is my blog, dammit, and I can say whatever I freaking want to and I'm saying it - bottle feeding your baby because of convenience reasons is not the best thing for your baby. I'm a breastfeeding Nazi and I know it. Feel free to disagree with me, I'm well aware that zillions of babies have survived on formula. Note, I said survived. Seeing that baby drinking formula? I might as well be watching someone feeding him cheese whiz. VOM. IT. Of course I don't tell my SIL or BIL this - it's their child, their choice. I respect their right to choose. My tongue is just all bloody from biting it so damned hard.

Duck has just informed me that everyone is perfect except for strangers. Guess I only know strangers.

I have two children up for grabs. Anyone who wants them is free to take them. Today, I have had enough. Come on Noon tomorrow.
Elvis, grant the courage to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and the strength to bitch slap some sense into all those idiots who ruin it for the rest of us.

VICTORY

2007-05-10T06:49:00.001-07:00

Sweet mother of purl, B found KONG!!

As you were ....

CALL 911!!!

2007-05-10T05:07:00.000-07:00

Sweet holy moses, we've lost Hank's Kong! I cannot tell you what this is like other than perhaps a crack addict who has lost his pipe.

MUST FIND KONG!!!

Mama's new baby

2007-05-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

So, Hank moved in with us last night and I'm just amazed at what a good dog he is! He's amazing - and has blended seamlessly into our family already. In celebration of making it through his first night in his new home with no troubles, we took him to the dog park early this morning - it will probably be a daily activity since we had so much fun! Here's a link to more pix!

Warm Fuzzy

2007-05-06T06:43:00.001-07:00

I took the boys to the library and we got a bunch of books. I was very happy to see that one of my favorite people was working circulation, so we went to her line and she checked us out. Now, I don't know this person, I only know her name is Jessica because she wears a name tag, and the only time we see each other is when she's checking us out at the library, but we always chit chat while I'm there and she always talks to the boys. Since I worked at the library for a billion and twelve years and many of my coworkers still work there, most everyone knows who I am, but it's not like I'm friends with the staff , either. If I had to guess, I'd say Jessica is maybe 23? 24? Single, hip, fresh, great outlook on life - much like I was once upon a time.

So yesterday she says to me, "You know, you're a pretty hip Mom. I've been watching you with the boys and I see you in here by yourself and you're just so cool, so comfortable, so down to Earth. You don't really get caught up in all the insignificant bullshit that lots of folks do. You are the kind of Mom I want to be."

It made me think if the days before I had kids when I'd see folks out there being very cool with their children, very earth friendly, respectful, down to earth, hip, relaxed families. Families who go camping and fishing and build fire pits in their backyards and run around naked in the summer rain and who teach to tread lightly on our Earth and be generous of time, money, and spirit. Families who found the fun in life and understood that sometimes mulberries right from the tree is a good enough dinner and sometimes you just have to teach your kids " Friend of the Devil" so they can dance like crazy with you when those first few guitar strings are plucked. I used to look at those families and say, "WOW, that's the kind of Mom I want to be, that's the kind of family I want to have."

And you know what? That's the kind of family that Jessica wants to have, too, so if she sees that in me, well, then, I guess I'm doing an alright job.

Awwww look at that face!

2007-05-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

That love muffin right up there is 2 year old, 80 pound, Hank. Hank currently lives with my BIL and SIL, but Hank needs a new home. Mamakohl is really hoping that his new home will be with us. In fact, I've pretty much already decided that I'm going to bring him home to live with me and the boys. Now, B is still on the fence about Hank, so to speak, so perhaps I'll be posting another photo of a husband looking for a new home in the next few days.

Cross your fingers and tails, folks.

The view from the short bus

2007-05-04T05:38:00.000-07:00

isn't that bad, really. But it is humbling.

So yesterday I returned a dress I bought. It's a gorgeous little sundress and really is lovely, but the bust was too short and if I got a size larger, it appeared that I was wearing some sort of scarlet circus tent. Either way, it wasn't looking good.

I returned it and spent some time wandering the aisles of the store and decided that it was the day to color my hair. I've been toying with the idea of dying it. I just wanted something that looked fresh, something to put more shimmer or something. But I'm not a fan of permanent dyes, not really thrilled about damaging my hair at all. So, when I found a temporary herbal wash that will stay for 28 shampoos and might give me a little bit of blond back temporarily, why the hell not.

So I come home and do the little deal --- and, well, was not terribly surprised by the backwards results- it was pretty much the same color as it started out to be ... although now the natural hi-lights were darker, so it looked like it actually dyed my hair BROWN instead of blond. Heh. Man, I get the award for hair dye dyslexia. I can do anything to anyone else's hair, but my own.

But I gotta say, I kind of like it brown.

What'chall think?

Interview

2007-05-02T11:57:00.001-07:00

My answers for Kimmah:

1. what is your worst personality trait? I'm incredibly judgemental.

2. list your five favorite kinds of cheese. Cheddar, Parmesan, Gouda, Romano, Ricotta

3. you have the power to eliminate the effect of one human being on the planet--he or she won't die, they will just be rendered useless--who would you choose and why? The playground Bully at Generic School, in Anytown, USA. I firmly believe that the root of many of our problems in life started at the hands of some bully. Maybe not on a playground - maybe in a board room, in a bank, in a prison, in a White House, in a locker room - both girls and boys, in a scout troop or sports team. Hell, maybe in our very own homes. Bullies, man. They suck.

4. what book has affected you the most? Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. Not only did it inspire me to become a birth professional, it gave me so much confidence in myself as a woman, in my ability to advocate for myself and for my children. It gave me the framework for a marriage, a way of life, a community in which I'd love to live and thus providing inspiration to become the woman I am today. If it's true that we should be the change we want to see in the world, well, Spiritual Midwifery inspired me to start changing.

5. what is your opinion of god's favorite vegetable, the Lima bean? Lima beans make excellent weapons when catapulted at your siblings with a teaspoon.

The rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

Boys and Birth

2007-05-01T12:29:00.001-07:00

We have always been very open with our kids about where babies come from, how they are made, and how they are born. We're very open about our bodies and they know the real names for things. I suppose it's part of growing up in the house with a doula. I know it's not typical to have discussions about sperm and egg at the dinner table with a 5 year old, but it happens all the time at our house.

I got a package in the mail from a former client of mine. It was a dvd with the video of her youngest daughter's birth - by c-section. My business partner had been the one to attend the birth and was allowed in with a video camera to record the surgery (this is unheard of - she and I usually go in the OR for the surgery, but to be allowed to film it is just unbelievable!) The video is actually taken from right beside the head surgeon - so you see the whole thing. Very, very cool, very graphic, but totally respectful.

So I'm watching it in my office and Duck saw it and said, "hey mom, what is that?" To which I started to explain to him that it was a cesarean birth and it was the way he was born. So he asked if he could watch. I let him climb onto my lap and we watched the whole thing. He was amazed that he came out of my stomach instead of my vagina -- he is well aware that he was born via cesarean, but he couldn't picture what that must have been like. So he saw it and it was as if his face slowly changed, softened in a way. Not like it was ever hard before, but after seeing it, he just looked kind of, well, more settled, soft, more at peace.

So Stealth was watching and then he wanted to see how he was born (this is the kid who asks me every day, "Mom, is this the day I get to see a real baby really come out??" heh!) So, since we had a professional photographer at the birth, I pulled out the cd of the photos and we went through all 200 of them, one by one, including the very detailed and graphic photos of crowning, the head out with nuchal cord, the placenta, etc.

The boys loved it. They smiled and said, "oh Mom, you sure are pushing so hard to get that baby out!" They smiled at the pictures of Stealth's little head starting to emerge and cheered as they saw the photo of him being brought to my chest.

The experience with the boys today really warmed my heart, really made me feel like there was a better understanding about the ways they were each born, some questions answered, and it felt sooooooo wonderful to see my two young sons look upon childbirth as a beautiful, natural, wonderful thing ... not something gross or painful or something to be hidden or spoken about in code or whatever.

I don't know, I'm rambling now, and I'm not sure that any of this makes sense to anyone. It just ... well, I have to say, I don't think I'll ever ever forget this experience today.

Exactly what I needed today

2007-05-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

Daily activity is nothing
Other than harmony within.
When each thing I do is
Without taking or rejecting,
There is no contradiction anywhere.
For whom is the majesty
Of red and purple robes?
The summit of the inner being
Has never been defiled by the dust of the world.

- P’ang Yun

I started to write a long and involved, very personal, very open post about some stuff, but I realized that I'm not ready to do that yet. Perhaps in time, perhaps not.

This is enough for today. It's exactly what I needed to be reminded of today and I share it with you all with the mindset that perhaps someone else needs it, too.

Source

Life

2007-04-30T12:58:00.000-07:00

You should all click on this to look at it large. It's beautiful. I adore it. It's so deep and yet so simple.

Just like life.

Thanks to SS for bringing this piece of art into my life. I'm not sure who the artist is, but here's the source.

HOLY CRAP

2007-04-29T14:49:00.001-07:00

Unreal - check out what my ol' high school pal, Connor, is up to these days!

Apparently, he's made it to the big time!

And to think, it all started off with Chester was Six Women.

Start saving bail money

2007-04-29T09:46:00.001-07:00

It's entirely possibly that I might have to kill my 70 year old, three toothed, illiterate, male chauvinist pig neighbor.

Just saying.

Vox Magazine - Belly dancing for the prenatal soul

2007-04-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

Vox Magazine - Belly dancing for the prenatal soul

Check out my girl, DDFF!!!!

And, if you look closely enough, you might see Mamakohl in there, too. Hint: watch the slideshow!

Hmmmmm, worth it?

2007-04-26T09:34:00.001-07:00

I have the chance to rendezvous with my trailer park love slave in May.

Yes, friends and neighbors, Mr. Ritchie is playing in Indianapolis, a mere 6 hour drive. Concert starts at 3:30 pm and get this - tickets are only $10!!! Yes of course, it's general seating and I'd be surrounded by oodles and oodles of scuzzy race car freaks, but sweet holy moses, surely, surely, he would sense his devoted from way up in the nose bleed section....

Good lord and butter, this is worth some thought...

Happy Birthday, Stealth

2007-04-25T05:55:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it. I just cannot believe it. My sweet angel baby is 5 today!!!
I love you, Stealth. I love every freaky little thing about you, Buddy. Thanks for making my life one adventure after another.

The video that didn't post below??

2007-04-20T07:18:00.001-07:00

Family fun in the backyard

2007-04-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was sooooo beautiful, I couldn't resist taking some photos and video as we played after dinner.

They call me Masochist Marge

2007-04-19T06:33:00.001-07:00

Or they ought to.

DDFF hurt me last night.

OH MY MARGARINE, she hurt me.

And I loved it.

And I want her to do it again.

Today.

Twice.

I gotta say, I've always been a yoga girl. A little (okay, very little) Pilates here and there thrown in for good measure, but mostly for me, it's been yoga = yummy. I can bend and fold and stretch with the best of them and can put myself into all sorts of strange contorted positions and my body reflects it and I say, "Thank you, body, for responding well." I feel graceful and elegant and feminine and light when I do yoga ... not so much with the Pilates and Bellydance.

Nope, no gazelle like action for me last night. To be frank, I felt a little like Olive from Little Miss Sunshine (if you haven't seen it, for the love of all things chocolate, go right now and watch it already.) You know, sort of out of place, not exactly the ripest banana in the bunch, but having fun, doing my best, and shaking my groove thang as much as possible. Maude, let me tell you, I moved parts of my body that hadn't moved on purpose in years. I used muscles that I forgot I had and, believe me, I can tell this morning. YEOWCH!

But I loved it. I loved every sweaty, stretchy, pulsating, quivering, shaking, swearing under my breath, vowing to punch DDFF in the nose at the next chance I got, promising myself that I *will* bitch slap my upper abs into shape second of both classes. Yep. And I'm going back for more next Wednesday.

Unless she wants to hurt me again before that.

The would be Spider and the young, English Fly

2007-04-18T05:20:00.000-07:00

So, a friend of mine is in London at the moment and this morning, I hopped onto my mom's list to find a message that she had seen Harry Potter naked last night. Yes, indeed, she saw Equus. Which means she saw Daniel Radcliffe naked. A lot. Lots of naked Daniel Radcliffe. YOWZA.

It's true that I'm a 31 year old woman and Daniel Radcliffe is decidedly not 31. It's also true that I have found myself thinking lovingly of Anne Bancroft and understanding her plight in this cold, cold world. I have often thought of what would happen if that young little fly managed to get caught in my old lady spider web and all I can say is that I would ruin him.

Off to go scrub my mind's eye with bleach now and then play endless hours of Candyland so I can once again feel like a good mother ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2007-04-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

DDFF, my queen, you are one superfly, hard core, rock 'n roll diva and I love you more than Split Lip and Sake! Shake your groove thang, Mama, 'cause you certainly deserve a celebration!

The power of Gospel music

2007-04-16T05:50:00.000-07:00

Can make you dance like a Solid Gold dancer in a mini-van -- so long as it's Elvis singing said Gospel. In fact, it can make a non-Christian like me feel the spirit so much that she will home and use photoshop to edit a photo of her husband to look like he, too, is a Solid Gold Dancer.

Duck's makeover

2007-04-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

My birthday is Sunday and make no mistake ---

2007-04-13T06:02:00.001-07:00

I want presents.

I am what you might call a birthday whore. Yes, I am and I'm not afraid to admit it. I love birthdays, I love presents, and I love having a whole day all about me. Selfish? Childish? Maybe. I don't care.

See, growing up, birthdays were really no big deal. There weren't parties or balloons or any of that. Sure, there was a gift and we got to choose what kind of cake we wanted and what we'd have for dinner, but that was pretty much it. I remember that, as a child, I only had 1 birthday party. When I was 11. And the party was my gift. This is all fine and well and good - my parents did a wonderful job (hell, we're all still alive and there are days when that is my only goal as a mother, so I say my parents succeeded,) but needless to say, I always felt there was something missing from the birthday celebration.

As I got older, my friends started throwing me birthday parties, starting the year I turned 18 and did the Angel dance from Anything Goes in Daisy Dukes and platforms on the roof of my pal Joe's house and managed to somehow fall off the roof and still not quite spill my beer. Or lose the thing I was smoking. Whatever. There were poker birthday parties, parties with 40s of Old E malt liquor and Pop Tarts, parties that spanned two groups of friends, 3 bars, and me deciding that I should probably just lay down and die rather than go to the concert that my boyfriend at the time spent tons of money for tickets on. (I'm quite certain that was no where near grammatically correct. Sue me.)

Then I became a mother and parties became more intimate and private affairs with my husband and my children and a few close friends. But, still, there was celebration. Cake. Diamonds. Friends. Sushi. Wine. Gems. Stones. Massages. You get the idea.

Last year was a biggie - the big 3-0. Large 3 day celebration. Perfect, ideal in every way. This year? Well, I have a stupid wedding to go to on Saturday (why oh why don't people realize that I want a full 3 day celebration for my birthday and they are just being so selfish to make plans during said time!?!?!?) Sunday, just me and B with no kids. Good enough. And the annual Sushi-fest that DDFF and I enjoy every year (her bday is the 17th!) Regardless, it'll be a good time.

Know how I know?

Because I don't give anyone an excuse to forget.

I start campaigning for my birthday in late March. Starting about 3 weeks before, I start making birthday countdown announcements. I publish blog posts, leave messages, general PSAs. I get the word out. I do that because it's important to me. I would be *crushed* if my birthday was just "any other day." But I cannot expect to get what I expect unless I tell folks that I expect it, right?

So, Sunday is the big ol' celebration for me. I wanna sleep in late, eat breakfast in bed (including a cured pork product of the organic ham, bacon, or sausage variety,) read the Sunday paper and drink coffee. I want jewelry and tofu salad. I want pictures and cake and phone calls from friends. I want it all. Yep. ALL.

Because

MY BIRTHDAY IS SUNDAY!!!

I'm just saying ....

This woman is my hero - forever

2007-04-10T14:23:00.001-07:00

She gave birth to sextuplets and she breastfed them all for 6 months!! Give this woman a medal and a lifetime supply of whatever the hell she wants!! HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT????? I'm all giddy just thinking about it!

When asked how she did it, she said, laughingly, "Complaining all day!" But then she got serious and said, "Well I used to nurse them all and then one day one of them bit me!! So I said, 'No, uh uh, No more,' and so then I pumped. I was brought up to believe that God will provide and he did." She was pumping 50 - 60 bottles a day!!!!

I am so so so so thrilled that this was on Oprah! I'm so thrilled that millions of people are going to see that it is possible!

She is my hero!

Well, he rose from the dead, but he sure ain't Jesus -- UPDATED

2007-04-09T06:48:00.001-07:00

So I have a page on a popular social / networking website. It's small and private and nothing personal really and I use it mostly as a way to stay in contact with some of my friends who live in other countries. I don't check it very often, it's not an obsession for me as it is for some people, but none the less, I have this page. And yesterday, Easter morning, I decided to check it.

And found that I have a new friend request.

From someone I didn't recognize right away.

So I looked at the profile.

Scrolled down.

And crapped myself.

It was my ex-husband!

I haven't had any contact with him or any member of his family in 7 years. At. All. Period.

So, now the can of worms is just sorta sitting out there.

It's kind of amazing - you roll the stone away and are amazed at what comes out from under the rock.

UPDATE

I cannot believe how many of you care about this .... but here's the scoop.

I sent him a message. He sent me a message. I sent him a message. He sent me a message. I added him to my friend's list. I'm giving it 2 weeks. If it doesn't get all freaky in 2 weeks, well, then YAY for reconnecting with folks from my past (I have absolutely NO ill will towards him - I hope he's happy and successful.) If it gets freaky, I can simply delete him from my list. But I gotta admit, I broke down in tears when I saw he's still in contact with the few things that I bitterly lost custody of in the divorce - he's still in touch with M, R, and J. Those guys were my brothers and it was as hard for me to leave them as it was for me to leave my ex.

We'll see.

Oh. And FWIW, MySpace is like Crack.

I dropped my pants and squealed with delight

2007-04-08T06:21:00.001-07:00

as I peed in the upstairs bathroom toilet yesterday!

No, the bathroom isn't *anywhere* near being done, but the drywall is up and thus, B hooked the toilet back up for a few days (weeks?? ugh) until we have to remove it again for the concrete board and the tile.

And yeah, I know you all are sick to death of hearing about this stupid bathroom. Well, friends, all I can tell you is that if I have to suffer through it, so do you!

Now, go piss in your bathroom and be grateful.

Oh you just gotta be freaking kidding me

2007-04-07T06:50:00.001-07:00

this morning, Bis leaving for work and screams into the house from the garage, "There's water coming from the bottom of the deep freezer!!!"

We have a huge, HUGE (like hide multiple bodies huge) 30+ year old chest deep freeze. Sure enough, water trickling out in a stream from the bottom.

Turns out, the deep freeze outlet is governed by the same fuse as the bathroom which is on the other end of the house entirely and on a completely different plane. So, we have the power turned off in the bathroom so B can do all those important things like, oh I dunno, run electricity into the bathroom and it's thawing our deep freeze!!!!

We'll be okay - we only eat chicken and fish and it's in our kitchen freezer, so we didn't lose any meat or anything and the veggies are still partially frozen, so we can save them, but sweet mother on toast, this is just getting to be like some sort of dark comedy.

Calgon, can I borrow your bathtub so you can take me away???

Awwwwwwwwwww!!

2007-04-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

Auntie Mamakohl took Duck and Stealth to see their new baby cousin B today. I'm glad I couldn't stay long - I might have stuffed that baby into my pants and taken off! What a love bug he is!

Welcome to the world, Hoss. Hold on tight.

Monkey Business

2007-04-03T07:50:00.001-07:00

Remodeling is not for pussies and other things I've learned out on the road ...

2007-04-02T09:31:00.001-07:00

So I haven't been around for ages and ages. I know. Life happens and sometimes it happens with a sledge hammer and a divorce attorney and 103.8 fevers. I'm going to try to give a rough explanation of the last few weeks here, mostly for posterity's sake and to have a written record of it if ever I, indeed, fall head first into a bottle of something and cannot make my way out to tell the story. Sound drastic? Read on - believe me, you'll be sending me care packages of Shiner Bock and Jim Beam before you get anywhere close to the end.

Sweet Elvis, where do I even start?

{{{{{{{Editing this part out now even though I said I didn't care - turns out, I do care about hurting her feelings and broadcasting her business. Let's just say here that my Mom is going through some shit and those of us who love her are hurting along with her, too, and it has really set my emotions into a whirling dervish of instability.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Friday night rolls around (over a week ago) and the kids got shipped off to the in-laws so I could help B prepare for the bathroom remodel, which was to start the following day. We had a great time, but woke up early the next morning to the news that Duck was very ill and puking. WTH?? Good lord -we were supposed to go to JPs for the weekend so that B and the other JP could rip out the bathroom walls and replace our old pipes with new copper ones. What to do? I was also supposed to help Mom move! Sweet crackers. So I got dressed, called JP and we agreed that, since the kids had played together all week, the germs had been spread and we should just go on with our plan.

I pick up the boys, and drive to JPs. Within an hour, all the kids start dropping like flies - fevers, crying, nausea. How awesome is that? So JP and I got into our Little House on the Prairie mode and spent the next 36 hrs tending to 5, count 'em FIVE, sick children. Is it drink time yet?

I drove my sick and tired children home Sunday night to find that the house is STILL a disaster, no running water, one of the guys helping B and JP got metal shavings in his eyes and had to go to the ER, my husband had smoked 3 cigarettes during this time although he was supposed to have quit. DAMMIT!!! Got the kids to bed, hung out with the guys and then passed out cold. I awoke at 3 am just in enough time to yell at B, "Is the water back on yet? Can I flush?" and then ran to the bathroom and puked and had "The Bad Poopies" (Thanks J.M. Bill, for that term,) at the exact same time. Looked down and saw that my period had arrived early and with force! HALLELUJAH - it just gets better. feh!

Next morning, B tells me that the water is on, but there is no shower in the bathroom upstairs and the sink is in the bedroom and the toilet flushes sometimes. The bathroom downstairs works, but there are no lights because he had to rip out the ceiling and the kids are scared of that bathroom. The shower down there DOES work but there is only scalding hot water. The dishwasher is loaded with dirty stuff, but we're not sure if the pipes are hooked up correctly, so don't use it and all the dishes are covered in insulation. YUM!

Meanwhile ...

At this point, I'm still sick. The kids are still sick. There is no food. The bills have been forgotten and they're all late. So, I lay around a full day and then on Tuesday, I go and pay all the bills. By now, Stealth's fever won't leave and he's coughing like nothing I've ever heard.

Wednesday - I don't even remember Wednesday other than I was supposed to make it to DDFF's class and I really needed it, but I got stuck with sick kids and the decision to rip out more of the walls. By the end of the day, the fact that I had had several beers was the only thing keeping me from getting in the car and driving far far away forever.

Thursday - realize that all the bills are paid, but we still have no food. Realize that I have a Target Card. Shop at Target and hide out in the automotive department while I have a mental and emotional breakdown and cry my eyes out. Make due with food from the Target Pantry until I can get cash out of savings for proper shopping. My SIL enters the hospital to have her son who is taking his own sweet time

Friday - Stealth is still not better. The walls are out of the bathroom everything is down to the studs. Take Stealth to the doc - BRONCHITIS!! Yay!! SIL has baby boy -we're too sick to go see him. Dammit. Realize that the main drain from the sink is clogged beyond repair and totally needs to be replaced - involving the removal of some wall studs. Lovely.

Saturday - realize that we have 2 sub floors. The top sub floor is rotted. Pull up top sub floor to realize that the bottom sub floor is also rotted in areas. Toilet comes out. Relegated to the basement toilet (see above for fears of said bathroom.)

Sunday - grocery shopping, endless hours at the computer doing the stupid ass defensive driving class, hearing B rip out the bathroom sub floors. Go to bed with stomach cramps -wake up with extreme pain and run downstairs in the dark, trip on a zillion toys, make it to the bathroom and fumble through the dark and attempt to avoid the nails on the floor and make it to the toilet in enough time to have serious gastrointestinal distress. For an hour. Get back upstairs to bed only to wake an hour later and repeat. Eventually, I just slept on the concrete floor in the basement.

Today, I finish the stupid course, attempt to take a shower in the horrifying downstairs, pack off the kids to the inlaws so we can continue to destroy our bathroom and hopefully not plummet to through the floor into the other horrible bathroom. At some point, I'd like to hang out with my husband. Well, maybe. Remember that Stopping Smoking thing? I guess it's still on 'cause he's being a total ass.

Oh and, to make matters worse, I found this photo this weekend and realized how fucking cruel and unusual gravity and age are. That's me at my High School Graduation with my father in 1994. Ah. Yep, I'll never get that look back. FUCK.

So, to recap -

The 10 day bathroom project is going to take about a month.

We may or may not have water at any time during this month -and frankly, even having walls and floors is questionable.

I have dealt with more poop and puke and fevers in the last 15 days to never ever want to enter a bathroom ever again.

My Mom has moved and B has lost his fishing hole, which makes him even less pleasant than he is now (why he married a woman and not a Bass is anyone's guess.)

My bathroom does not exist. What does exist is 50 year old pipes, 50 year old wall studs, and a rotten floor.

I'm turning 31 in a couple of weeks and have come to realize that I'm old and washed up and will never ever be that sexy 18 year old again - nope, Gravity and Age can suck my dick.

I STILL HAVEN'T MET MY NEW NEPHEW!!!!

Remodeling will kill an otherwise healthy relationship.

Kids are resilient - 30 year old hormonal women with diarrhea are not.

I still want to drive far far away forever and ever.

Blaring Kid Rock from your computer speakers will eventually blow one of them out, no matter if you have your own separate sub woofer.

Remodeling is not for pussies.

Is it happy hour yet?

I swear, it's coming

2007-04-01T07:59:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to write the big post of what the hell is going on but my freaking life won't stop long enough for me to write a whole post. Wait for it -it's coming.

Eventually.

Auntie

2007-03-30T05:45:00.001-07:00

My SIL is in labor and will be birthing her son today!! I'm not doula-ing her through this one (my own sick kids and timing prevent it,) but I'm with her in spirit. Everyone, wish a blessed birth for D, B, and baby Nameless Wonder!!!

UPDATE!!!

Baby Boy B was born into the world at 10:16 this morning, weighing 7 pounds and 11 ounces and stretched out to 19 inches long. Daddy B is sporting the perma-grin and, after Mama D gets some Tylenol, she will be, too.

Welcome to the world, new nephew of mine. We all seem just a little more complete with you here.

And SIL D? That first drink is on me, Mama. You've earned it.

Well, it was B's birthday, but I got the present

2007-03-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

He's quitting smoking!!!!

He's been a 2 pack a day smoker for over 15 years and at 11:25 pm on Sunday, B smoked his last cigarette, destroyed the three left over in his last pack, and said goodbye to that nasty habit.

It's hard -he's struggling, but he's doing so well and I couldn't be more thrilled.

I have never been more grateful for anything in my life -if it gives me even one more day with my husband on this planet, it will have been worth it all.

Thanks, B, for doing what it takes to stick around. I love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO B!!!

2007-03-18T05:58:00.001-07:00

We're heading out of town today to celebrate B's 33rd birthday!!

Happy birthday, Monkey. I love you.

Oh DD ...

2007-03-14T14:50:00.001-07:00

You're so fine

You blow my mind

Hey DD!! Hey DD!!

<<Bows and takes off cheerleading outfit to make the official statement of undying adoration and induction to tenured Rock On status>>

My Sister in Chopsticks, Yarn, Birth, and Mojo, DDFF, has bestowed upon me the fab gift of Wednesday night Pilates and Bellydance classes! Oh yes, indeed. Man, I love to work my body and I love to work it next to DDFF - she's my motivation mama. Let's see ... Wednesday nights watching snoozer TV or tightening and toning and getting my ass kicked in general around some yummy ovarian goodness????? No brainer - hurt me, please!!! And, if we top off our almighty buffness with a little goma ae, all the better.

Girl, you rock my world. We've been friends now for, what, close to 7 years (I remember you waltzing around with a 2 week old Filbert in a sling ....) and I think my lucky Elvis on Velvet for you every chance I get. You entered my Rock On Hall of Fame ages ago - thought I'd let you know that the plaque on the wall is permanent.

Thanks, Mamasita. I can't wait!

Gobsmacked

2007-03-13T08:18:00.001-07:00

That's just the word for it - gobsmacked. I cannot believe it -I cannot believe it. I'm stunned.

If you've had cable TV or been up late at night at all during the last 15 years, you've all seen the infomercials. You've all heard about the "Swirl, Tap, Buff." You know Leslie and her obsession with brushes and mineral veil. Say it with me - Bare Escentuals Bare Minerals SPF 15 Mineral Foundation!

For years I have seen this stuff advertised on TV and I've been curious. Can it really go on that smoothly? Does it really look that good? Is it really that idiot proof? Does it feel that good on your skin? Is it *really* all natural? So, for years, I have wondered these and thought, "Good lord, who in the world would spend that much money on makeup and why?"

And then I found out that a very dear friend of mine has been using it for over a year. A friend, by the way, who loathes makeup and never wore it except for Prom and random costume parties. Not only has she been using it for a year, she wears it every single day. And she loves it. Just loves it.

Hmmm. Food for thought.

So, a few months ago, I discovered that Loreal' started making "mineral foundation" and I gave it a try. Sure, it was better than any liquid foundation or anything, but still, it wasn't quite right. The color wasn't right, it didn't blend, it made my skin do strange things, it just wasn't ideal --- but it was $13 to start out vs. $75, so what the hell, good enough.

But it wasn't good enough and eventually, after years and years of wondering, I decided to splurge and treat myself to the real deal. It arrived by UPS last night and this morning I tried it out.

OH. MY. MARGARITA!!!

It took me maybe 3 minutes, tops, to put it on my very first try and I nearly broke out in tears when it was all done. I can not believe how wonderful this stuff is. Seriously. Honestly. Like tofu salad, sushi, good yarn, great sex, fabulous shoes, and a Mint Julep all tied up into one lovely package. Like "throw away the whole rest of my makeup collection and never go to the beauty counter again" good. It's amazing - and I have never felt more beautiful. I love it. Everything they say on the infomericals is true. The coverage, the lightness, the warmth, the feel, everything!!! It's astonishing. And it's sooooooooooooo worth the money.

Gobsmacked. Gobsmacked, I tell you.

I'm off to go look at myself some more....

HOT DAMN

2007-03-12T13:18:00.001-07:00

I have 4 yellow daffodils by my front door.

I have a bloomed crocus by my side door and lots of daffs ready to bloom.

My forsythia bush has it's first yellow bud.

My redbud is doing it's thing.

The magnolia in my front yard is budded out and I'll bet we'll see hot pink in a week.

The windows are open.

My feet are dirty from walking barefoot in the yard.

Duck is belting out Honky Tonk Woman and dancing like a 6 year old Jagger.

The gazebo goes up this week.

Beer is tasting good and I saw baseball on tv yesterday.

JP has decided to NOT teach summer school after all so we have more time together.

I just got some lovely fabric and have started designing myself a warm weather wardrobe.

I woke to birds this morning.

First campout of the season is coming soon.

I love Spring.

Fuckin' A Ray, this is my time of year.

2007-03-08T10:29:00.001-08:00

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday

J.M. BILL

R.I.P. Bo Puppy

2007-03-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

I got a phone call from my MIL this morning -they had just put their doggy, Bo, to sleep. I'm not a fan of small dogs, but this little yorkie was amazing. He lived to be about 14 years old and just was a wonderful companion.

Duck and Stealth were *very* close to Bo and they took the news of his death pretty hard this morning. It will be tough when they go on Friday and realize that he's not there.
This is the only photo I have of him - and it looks like he's dead! I assure you he's not - he's just sleeping in the photo.

We'll miss you, Bo Puppy. You were a good dog.

ugh

2007-03-06T10:44:00.001-08:00

I'm sick.

And it sucks.

I'm supposed to have a shopping spree with JP tomorrow afternoon.

Unless I have a tag on my toe, I'm going.

Retail therapy - better than NyQuil any day.

Blessed Beginnings

2007-03-01T08:08:00.001-08:00

Over a year ago, I wrote this post about a birth that I had attended. That birth stands out in my mind and it's one of the ones I'll never forget. It was hard, hard work and was really quite a disappointing experience for my client. Yes, she had a beautiful daughter, but there was nothing empowering about it. In fact, the experience seemed to be disempowering for her.

A few months ago, I was contacted by this client again as she was expecting their second child and wanted me to be her doula again. Repeat clients are always special and I looked forward to being with her as she brought her child into the world. We met once prenatally and talked about how her previous birth really did some emotional damage, how she couldn't really find anything positive about that birth, and with tears streaming down her face, we worked hard together to make a plan for this birth to be different.

The phone rang early yesterday morning - her water had broken 4 weeks earlier than expected! We spoke about her options and I geared up for a long day and night ahead. Her contractions started up nice and easy and she was handling things quite well. So far so good.

She called me to come to the hospital and I arrived around 3:45 or 4 pm to find her sitting on the birth ball, moaning low and rotating her hips through her contractions. This was a huge change from her last labor which was spent entirely in bed!! She was 3cm and going strong ... and fast! We moved and changed positions many times with two of my favorite nurses peeking in every now and then to sit quietly and observe our work. This was moving fast and my client was doing sooo well.

When she reached 6 cms, she decided she wanted an epidural. What a great improvement from her previous birth! Since she hadn't been hooked up to any fluids yet, she had to receive an entire bag of fluids prior to getting her epidural, so the IV was hooked up and away we went. It was clear to me soon, however, that there would not be time for those fluids to go in much less time to get an epidural - my client was working hard and this baby was coming! She requested the squat bar and we got it up and next thing we knew, my client was standing on the bed, holding onto the squat bar and pushing all on her own. We managed to get her to sit down on the bed long enough for the doc to catch her beautiful 6lb 5oz son at 6pm over an intact perineum with no pain meds and completely under her own power. Her placenta came out easily with a little traction 20 minutes later.

It's been a long time since I've been so moved by a birth. It was such a blessing to see this family welcome their newest member. Talking with my client afterwards, we both cried tears of joy as we realize that not only had she done it, she had accomplished all of her goals, even the ones she thought were pipe dreams. She did it all on her own, her own way, and it was perfect. As her baby enjoyed his first meal at his mother's breast, I could see all her wounds from her previous birth just heal and slip away.

Congratulations L & T, and welcome to the world Baby L!!

So, what do I know for sure now? The same thing I've always known - Birth Works!

**Dedicated to my dear friend SS, who recently found out that she'll be adding a baby to her family this coming September. Congratulations, Sweet Sister, on your pregnancy. May your experience be nothing short of blessed.

Duck does it again

2007-02-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

A few minutes ago, my wonder boy, Duck, just reached into his mouth and pulled out his 4th tooth. HAH!

Ignoring Lao Tzu

2007-02-23T09:47:00.001-08:00

If you noticed in today's Quote of the Day (look to the right, folks,) you'll notice that the strength is in the silence and I completely and totally agree. In fact, I've been silent a lot lately, a lot more than I usually am. I have taken Willie Nelson's advice when he says, "Never miss a good opportunity to shut up." I wish like hell some other people would avail themselves of that little bit of wisdom, but I digress. Silence is a good thing, but since it's a new thing for me, my friends are starting to freak out and think that I've been abducted by aliens or something, so today I'm speaking out. You know, just a few things on my mind. No big whoop.

Sushi is just as good at 10am as it is at 8pm. At least it was today. I've got one raging case of PMS and it was either sushi or a shotgun and, well, there's no application process or waiting period for the Full Moon Combo.

Speaking of waiting periods, you might recall that I have to take the online defensive driving course to avoid getting points on my license after my little fender crunch. Today I signed up for one of the courses and started the process. Again, no big deal. It's a course with 7 chapter exams and then a final exam. It mentioned that it was a 7 hour course. HA HA I thought. I'm a freaking fast reader and test well, so I figured that I'd be in and out in a couple of hours max. WRONG! The damned course is timed! Yes, indeedy, you cannot move on past each page until a certain amount of time has lapsed. Seriously, I think they must assume it takes folks 2 days to read a single paragraph. Stealth can read faster than this and he is 4! It is torturous to have to wait. Thank you, Sweet Elvis, for iTunes, online games, herbal antidepressants, whatever. JEEZE LOUISE, folks. Mind numbing, I tell you.

My beloved yoga class has been moved from 6pm to 4pm. CRIKEY, talk about childcare crunch, eh? I'm going to try to take Duck and Stealth with me today. DDFF will be there and she is bringing Garoo and Filbert - I'm hoping they all can play nice for an hour or so. And I'm also hoping that my little yogi, Duck, doesn't come bursting in and trying to attend class with me. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing that pleases me more than watching my little man twist and breathe and bend, but Mama needs some time.

My kids are obsessed with cars now. Yep, all kinds of cars. They know makes and models and scream with delight when they see something new. This, of course, thrills B to no end. My. Dear. Lord. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE at least let us get a female dog.

I taught some friends of mine private childbirth ed classes this week (DDFF, muscle yaki on me, Mama.) Five and a half hours of talking and demonstrating and teaching and answering questions and watching videos and breastfeeding my Jerry Garcia doll. GAH!! It was a great class, but I have to admit that I feel it was wasted on the couple I was teaching. They are rather well off and prefer to do things privately so I believe they wanted me to teach them because they knew I would come to their house and do it privately, not because of what the class entailed. It was strange - like they were taking this class because they felt obligated to because "that's what pregnant people do" and not so much because they cared to learn anything. Or maybe they just didn't want to learn what I was teaching. Maybe they wanted to learn how to let their OB walk all over them. Maybe they wanted to learn how long it takes from saying, "I want the epidural" to getting the needle in their spinal column. Maybe they wanted ... I don't know what they wanted. It seems to me that they would have benefited more from the generic, bland hospital classes that don't really teach you anything other than how to be a good (read: compliant) patient. Regardless, I enjoyed spending the time with them, I enjoyed the money I earned, and I think that at least a few things sunk in. I just wish everyone were as passionate about this kind of stuff as I am - I wish people would learn to care BEFORE instead of after.

So Erzulie is having some issues and here it is, nearly her first birthday. Truth be told, I'm not sure it's Erzulie that is having the problems. I noticed a few weeks ago that I was having trouble getting some songs to sync from iTunes onto 'Zulie. It would get stuck, hang up on songs, and just get all pissy. SO I did a bunch of reading in the iTunes Forums and came up with the idea that perhaps I needed to get a new cable to connect it to my computer. Makes sense - the cable that came with it has been run over by the wheels of my desk chair a bazillion times and slammed into metal drawers and probably the wires inside are all gnarled up. So I went and spent $25 for a new cable yesterday - to find that it still got hung up on a song or two, but *not the same songs* that hung it up before. So now I don't know if the problem was the cable or if it's something else. I don't know whether to return the new cable and get my money back or if I should keep it. DAMMIT. I hate being up in the air.

I've not said one thing about this next topic yet. I'm going to say one thing and one thing only and I'm only going to say it once. Here it is. I've been hearing sooooooooooooo much about Anna Nicole and Britney Spears lately. I mean, it's everywhere. It's on the news, on the radio, in the papers, and all over people's blogs. What I find absolutely hysterical, however, is how many people are writing and complaining or making fun about how it's all over the news and papers and it's all anyone talks about. It's so absurd. Here's the deal folks - you are just as responsible for it being such a media spectacle as CourtTV, E!, NBC, People Magazine, etc. Media outlets write about it because there are folks like you out there that care about it. Think you don't really care? Then why in the hell are you taking time out of your day to write about it, talk about it, post about it, ask about it, care about it?????? If you are really interested, really concerned, then by all means, learn about it, talk about it, care about it, But don't sit there and say how horrendous it is that it's all anyone talks about and then obsess about it yourselves! Gimme a break, eh? End of rant.

It's so funny how things change. I spent Monday at JP's house and we had a clothing swap. She's gained some weight (and looks fabulous - she was too thin for too long,) and I've lost some weight, so we both cleaned out our closets and traded. By the end of the day, she got 7 new pair of pants / jeans and probably 5 shirts and I got 4 pair of jeans, a pair of khakis and a pair of brown pants that I love. Recycling at it's best.

Spring is coming - it's nearly here. HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!!! Sorry folks, this one deserves to remain unedited.

Tax refunds - one down, one to go. SCORE!

I got a great purple silk pillow yesterday for my bed for 75% off. Here's my public service announcement - If you see anything purple that is 75% off and it doesn't sing "I love you, you love me," BUY IT!!!!!! Purple is good mojo and we all know that we could all use the good mojo we can get.

I've knitted 4 baby hats in as many days. Heh. Babies. They're cute, they're adorable, they are NOT mine!!! I'm really looking forward to being an aunt again. Just a few more weeks and B & D are gonna have their little Nameless Wonder. YAY!

I need a haircut.
I need a massage.
I need a vacation.
But first...

I need a shower.

Later!

A must see

2007-02-17T07:16:00.001-08:00

Special thanks to DDFF for pointing me towards this documentary, It should have been made ages ago.

Check out Pregnant in America. Be sure to view the trailer.

It's time to change our ways, America. Peace on Earth Begins with Birth.

I have to vomit now

2007-02-16T08:13:00.001-08:00

I just figured and efiled our taxes.

This year is different - this year I had a 1099 and mileage expenses.

I don't feel so well ....

Court

2007-02-15T08:44:00.001-08:00

So I had my court date this morning for my little wreck I had in January and the prosecuting atty said, "Mamakohl is in violation of colliding with another motor vehicle resulting in significant damage!!"

When I had my turn to speak, I said, "First off, I'd like to point out that significant damage was to my own vehicle -I was going about 8 mph and slid under Jeep." The judge asked the Pros Atty if that was true and the PA said, "uhm, yes, that is correct - significant damage to her vehicle, minimal if any damage to the other."

Well, DUH!!!!

Anyway, $72.50 + court costs (total $95,) and I get to take an online defensive driving course ($30) to avoid getting 2 points on my license.

The judge was kind and the online course will be simple and no points on my license. Good enough.

Oh well, at least I wasn't hauled off in handcuffs. I saw that happen to some poor woman today.

And, finally, if you get caught pissing on a bush in my county, as did some college guy, you'll be fined $125 + court costs because it "makes it really unpleasant for everyone around you." NICE.

Happy V Day!

2007-02-14T07:12:00.001-08:00

February 14th is about much much more than Valentine's Day, folks. Please take some time and visit VDay, contribute if you can, and continue to make it a part of your life Until The Violence Stops.

Now, onto the good lovie dovie stuff.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all lovers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all non-lovers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all believers.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all pessimists.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S Day TO ALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

It was my morning to get up with the kids. Of course, they got up before anyone had a right to be awake, but whatever. It was just as well that they got up - I had plans for them. I had planned a special breakfast for them. I will never forget, as long as I live, the year that I went to the breakfast table as a kid on Valentine's Day and found a box with chocolate in it that spelled out "I Love You." It was from my mom and it was sitting on my breakfast plate. It meant so much to me that she would do that - and I was just a kid. I have carried that with me since then and I wanted to show my smallest Valentine's how much I love them. So off to the kitchen I went, stubbing my toe in the dark, to make Duck and Stealth something special to start the day.

But I stopped dead in my tracks when I turned on the light.

Sitting in front of my teapot was a card addressed to me.

'My greatest gift is to be with you, alone.' -- Maya Angelou

At the heart of our togetherness,

I find truth

and laughter

and the freedom to be myself.

Thank you

for being my joy,

my love.

And then there was a lovely message from B, ending with "P.S. Look in the fridge!"

Low and behold, in my refrigerator, was a huge box of the best chocolate covered strawberries known to man. GOOD LORD, B is on a roll! He stayed up after I went to bed last night and set it all up for me to be surprised this morning. I'm telling you, he's a great man.

So, after munching on a strawberry at 6:30 in the morning, I made breakfast for the kids: pancakes with whipped cream in the shape of a heart and ripe raspberries, Raspberry sparkling grape juice, and a raspberry and chocolate milk shake topped with whipped cream and another raspberry. And I even gave them each one of my strawberries - am I good or what?

What a way to start the day!

Tonight is my signature spinach mannicotti, Caesar salad, bread, and cookies for dessert. And more strawberries.

It's gonna be a great Valentine's - B is off, there's snow outside, and I'm surrounded by those whom I love most.

Happy V-Day, everyone. Tell someone you love them today. And, as Stephan Stills wisely said, "if you cannot be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

By request

2007-02-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

The jewelry B got me for our anniversary - it's a special kind of green turquoise and I forget what the amber colored stones are .....

Me and my Monkey

2007-02-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

While out for an off road ride in the truck (we parked it before taking this pic with my phone)

After dinner - look at us looking like grown ups!

I must be 4 years old

2007-02-09T07:05:00.001-08:00

I'm so freaking excited about my anniversary - you'd think I was 4 and this was my birthday!

SHEESH!

6 years tomorrow

2007-02-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary! 6 years ago, B and I took 8 month old Duck to the courthouse and we got hitched. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday. Sometimes it seems like a thousand lifetimes ago.

Our anniversary is always special to us. We lived together for 2 years before getting married and we took a long time to decide to say I Do. Taking that extra time really makes us appreciate our marriage and what we have. We make the choice every single day to be together and have never taken it for granted.

Tomorrow, we are dropping the boys off with the in-laws and spending the day together. I'm not sure what we're going to do, neither is he, and we don't care. We'll be together and that's all we care about. I'm sure there will be loud music and some off road driving - just getting out and having fun.

Tomorrow night, 2(JP) are coming up and we're having dinner at a swank place. We know the owners quite well as well as all the managers. They are expecting us around 7 and B has been told that they're "doing it all up special" for us, whatever that means.

The craziest thing? B is wearing a tie. Yep, and it was even his own suggestion! I couldn't be more surprised if an atomic bomb went off in my bra (hush, you.) So, of course, I went out and bought a new dress for the occasion and it hugs the right parts just perfectly. WAHOOOOOO

I'm so excited, I cannot wait.

6 years down, 294 left to go. I hope those years crawl by - this is just too much fun.

I love you, B. Happy anniversary.

Duck's playlist

2007-02-06T13:05:00.001-08:00

Last weekend I sat down at iTunes and started thumbing through my catalogue. This takes quite some time, what with several thousands of songs on there and more coming every day. Anyway, I started thinking about the songs I listened to when I was 6 (6 and a half Duck reminds me,) and realized that I have lots of stuff that he would really like. We sat down and started going through the songs together and came up with a playlist of things that he knows he likes, things that I think he'll like, and frankly, just some things that I want my kid to listen to. He came up with a few songs that he wanted on there that I, personally, don't care to listen to, but heck, it's his playlist - who cares if he wants the Spice Girls?

Anyway, it came out to 6 cds!! And I don't know who likes the mix more - him or me!

08 Reservoir Dogs - Stealers Wheel

19 - Toni Basil - Mickey
59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)

A Little Less Conversation
Accidently Kelly Street
All I Wanna Do

Banana Pancakes
Beautiful Day 4:08

Birdhouse in Your Soul
Black Horse And The Cherry Tree

Boogie Shoes
Born In The USA
Boy Named Sue (live)
Castles Of Made Of Sand 2:47
Centerfield
Centerfold
Chain Of Fools
Cheeseburger In Paradise

Coconut
Cold Cold Cold / Dixie Chicken

Constellations

Could You Be Loved
Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Crunchy Granola Suite
Cure - Pictures Of You

Dance Dance
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Dear Prudence
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
Everything You've Done Wrong
Fee
Fight For Your Right
Foxy Lady
Franklin's Tower

Friend Of The Devil

Little Green Bag
Get Up Stand Up
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Here Comes The Sun
Hips Don't Lie
Hold Me Now

Honky Tonk Women
I Like to Move it
I Love Rock and Roll
I Think I'm Paranoid
In The Year 2525
Iron Lion Zion
Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
Jessie's Girl
Jumpin' Jack Flash

Kate
Kodachrome
Kokomo
Labour Of Love
Let's Get It Started
Little Martha
Little Sister

Maggie May
Move Ya Body
Movin' To Virginia
Mr. Jones
Mrs. Robinson
My Best Friends Girl
No Rain
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
One Mint Julep
P. Funk (Wants To Get Funked Up)
Paint It Black
Redemption Song
Respect
Ring Of Fire
Ripple
Rock The Casbah
Runaway 2:34

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Soul Shake Down Party
Stand
Stuck in the Middle With You
Subterranean Homesick Blues

Suffragette City
Suite: Judy Blue Eyes
Sunshine of Your Love
Surfin' safari
Suspicious Minds
Sweet Caroline
Sweet Home Alabama
Swingtown
Sympathy For The Devil
The 3 R's
The Joker
The Longest Time

The Na-Na Song
The Race Is On

The Weight

They Might Be Giants - Particle Man

Three Little Birds (Alternate Mix)

Time of Your Life
Trenchtown Rock

Up On Cripple Creek
Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun

Wannabe
We're going to be friends
We are the champions
Where It's At
White Lightning

Wild Thing
Wild World
Wipe Out
You Can't Always Get What You Want

You Can Call me Al

HAH! No Raffi here!

OMG, I'm in love with this

2007-02-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am so in love with my Friday night yoga class that I'm already starting to be sad about it ending in another 5 weeks. not to mention the fact that I'll miss this week and that will only leave me 4 more classes to attend. I love yoga, have for years and years, and it's so vitally important to my mental and physical health. I have a zillion yoga dvds and videos, but am always hesitant to use them because they don't really give me the work out that I desire, or they are full of instructions for beginners. This is all fine and good for beginners and folks who need the added instruction, but when you've been doing it for 10 years or so (admittedly off and on, but still,) the chatter becomes an impediment to your practice.

Enter my man, Rodney Yee. ZING!

I adore Rodney Yee. I know I'm not alone (shout DDFF!!) I have a few of his videos and have actually had this Power Yoga dvd for quite some time but never used it because, well, see above. Today, however, I decided to give it a go and WOW WOW WOW. I love it. Just love it! It's very comparable to my class on Friday nights but is even more challenging, which is exactly what I want. There is no instructional chatter, simply music and the poses being announced. It's fast paced and made me sweat and stretch and challenge myself. Bliss, pure bliss.

I think I'll still sign up for another class when my current session runs out 'cause I love being around all those women working hard, but this dvd, my friends, is an excellent companion.

Off to the shower -I stink.

I'm just saying ...

2007-02-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

Seen in a Michael's parking lot

2007-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

The evil genius of Popeye the Hippie and Mohawk McGee

2007-01-31T08:46:00.000-08:00

Zen

2007-01-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

The truth of Zen,
Just a little of it,
Is what turns one’s
Life of monotonous,
Commonplace actions,
Into one of art,
Full of genuine inner creativity.

- D.T. Suzuki